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heading south

I have to go and earn my keep.

Heading to Nigeria for three weeks then another ten days or so in Ghana. Not exactly sure what I will be eating, but I note that fried gizzard and chips is the ‘specialty’ at my hotel in Lagos. Be still my beating heart.

There is sure to be horse on the menu, even if it is the kind that wears stripey pajamas, if you get my drift.

I may well miss The Further Revelations Of The Family Pistorious. It seems that manslaughtering is a hobby of the males. Can’t wait to see if dad, mum and sister Pistorious have been depopulating South Africa as well.

The Eastleigh by-election will pass me by, but I shall lose no sleep over that. The game continues, as it always does. The proles will elect another drone, as they always do. Expect more of the same. Forever.

Gideon is taking some flak for losing that oh-so-precious Triple A rating. The only surprise here is that we held on to it for quite so long. Let’s face it, the economy is in the tank, and the endless borrowing and certainly that money-printing (a mere 375 billion) is the death knell. The Coagulation are deaf in this regard as well. They hear absolutely nothing. Least of all the electorate. Labourites, you can wipe that smug grin off your stupid faces as well; it was you and your Inepts that caused this mess in the first place. It has to end. And it will end with a bang, a big explodey bang, one of these fine days.

Blogging from afar will depend very much on the quality of the internet and my ability to type through the haze of Mr Gin and Mr Tonic. I will, as ever, do my best.

Stay well old chums,


Whats your view?…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lysistrata February 24, 2013, 6:23 pm

    “I note that fried gizzard and chips is the ‘specialty’ at my hotel in Lagos. Be still my beating heart.”
    Have a good trip.

  • Captain Ranty February 24, 2013, 6:36 pm

    Thanks Lys.

    It sounds offal, dunnit?


  • Drabzz February 24, 2013, 7:34 pm

    Gizzard? Luxury! The best we could manage was to suck on a damp cloth. The kids of today don’t know they were born.

    • Ian February 25, 2013, 6:38 pm

      A damp cloth. Luxury. We just had damp.

      Have a good trip CR and come back safe and sound.


  • Caratacus February 24, 2013, 10:13 pm

    Ina kwana, Cap’n. You be safe out there; don’t talk to strangers and keep a spare clip in yer pants ;-)

  • Woodsy42 February 25, 2013, 1:23 pm

    Have fun and stay safe.
    Thanks for the return of the blogroll. You probably didn’t intend to be an index site but I always opened your old site first in my internetting explorations so that I could catch all the linked posts (rss is messy) so it’s good to have it back.
    From Wikipedia: The word “gizzard” comes from the Middle English giser, which derives from a similar word in Old French, which itself evolved from the Latin gigeria, meaning giblets.[1] Rather you than me I think!

  • John Gibson February 25, 2013, 10:52 pm

    Good Luck mate, look after yourself.
    John Gibson

  • Highland FREE Radio February 25, 2013, 11:55 pm

    RE my Bail Conditions

    Still in the hoose and Doctor tomorrow think he/she/it is coming roond tae the hoose. {Hope its Jesus – that caused a stir in chooky}
    [jesus is from Barcelona]



    Eilidh MacDonald
    (My Solicitor)
    My Impossible Bail Conditions
    (h) must not go on foot nor, other than to comply with Road Traffic
    legislation, to stop in any vehicle within 200 meters of any school.

    Meaning I cannot leave my village, Muir of Ord by train I cannot visit:

    Friends Along road
    Post Office
    Railway Station
    Chip Shop
    Shops – Inc Co-op

    1st. Arrest 21st. Thursday February 2013
    Breach of Peace?
    Arrested 9am – processed – released 12.30 pm ish.

    Mackenzie hugged me slapped the cuffs on and squeezed them as tight as he could, broke skin and later the two purple marks like a corporals stripes throbbed.
    Did I mention that when he forced me to the floor, I swear I saw a dark stain appear on his regulation trowsers at his groin area.
    Mackenzie had had his fun for the day and dissapeared totally.
    Wonder if he told his sleeping mate about his days events.

    Free 33 minutes.

    2nd. Arrest 21st. Thursday February 2013
    1pm ish.
    Was being threatened [multiple death threats over last weeks]
    by group of 5/6 men, two women with prams, kids, sheep and goats, some of
    the men came out of pub.
    [they may or may not have been drinking alcohol
    I called 999 – being threatned.

    Young male constable took me to back of police car.
    Female Officer Wood spoke to the GANG.
    Wood came back to car and arrested me.
    “Do you Understand?”
    NO ANSWER {repeated many times}
    Taken to Dingwall Police cells – thence to Inverness Police cells –
    overnight –

    taken to Tain Court a.m. 22st.Friday February 2013

    NOTE BENE: The reference to schools is because while videoing potholes and
    dangerous cars driving conditions around Muir of Ord People, children,
    sheep, goats and other animals have inadvertainly been videoed.

    I am a retired wedding photographer, Licentiate of the Royal Photographic
    Society, and as sutch have photographed zillions of people and situations
    whithout causing one offence.

    My several web sites and YouTube videos I have taken down due to
    harrassement and intimidation by people, sheep, Northern constabulary,
    goats and other animals.

    I am,
    Dave Allison, Sui juris

    MOB: 07748468457
    Tel: 01463 871780
    11 Balvaird Terrace, Muir of Ord, Ross-shire, Highlands IV6 7TR

    Faodaidh nach ionann na beachdan anns
    an post seo agus beachdan a’ Ghàidheil.
    The views expressed in this post are
    not necessarily those of The Highlander
    Dave Allison.

  • Captain Ranty February 26, 2013, 9:58 am


    When they ask “Do you understand?”, instead of staying silent, say “No, I choose not to”.

    When I said this to the cops when they arrested me, their eyes lit up. They knew that I knew what “understanding” them actually means. Maybe they all do.

    Mind how you go mate. These people are not our friends. They picked the wrong side.


  • Captain Ranty February 26, 2013, 10:05 am

    Thanks for the good wishes folks.

    All settled in at the hotel. This morning I had fried egg (but it did not look like a fried egg) it was curiously flat with a pale yellow hue to it. With it I had beans and boiled potatoes. Several cups of good coffee and remarkably, the chap brought me an ashtray. It has been quite some time since I enjoyed a smoke with my morning brew in a hotel restaurant.

    Hand-waving? None.

    Fake-coughing? None.

    Filthy looks? None.

    Righteous outrage? None.

    Number of anti-smoker police called? None.

    And they call this an uncivilised country?

    The local beer-Star-is crisp and cold. It was a pure joy to sit in the 30 degree heat by the pool with a cold beer after I got checked in last night around 10pm.

    Internet is up and down like a brides nightie, but I will blog when I can.

    Be well,


  • Mossy February 28, 2013, 2:24 pm

    What hotel are you in?
    I lived in Lagos for four years so know it quite well.

    • Captain Ranty February 28, 2013, 3:16 pm

      The Blowfish, on V.I.

      First time staying here, and it is very nice.


  • Span Ows February 28, 2013, 3:10 pm

    gizzard eh, nothing like a good bit of anything to make the horse-meat ‘scandal’ in perspective.

    • Captain Ranty February 28, 2013, 3:17 pm

      The scoff is actually very good.

      I have no idea what the meat is made of but still…….


  • Dave Allison, Sui juris February 28, 2013, 4:39 pm

    Was at “Court” today they removed a bail condition. I can now visit the Doctors surgery. The Doctor a charming lass visited my home/castle yesterrday.

    I still cannot visit the Bank, Shops, Library, Pub, Train station Post Office.

    Check out Muir of Ord on Google maps, my post Code IV6 7TR.
    Draw a circle.

    I am watching a film, The Trial by Franz Kafka.
    I am living a film.

    Peace and Love
    Dave Allison
    NOT for everyone

  • james Higham February 28, 2013, 9:11 pm

    The Eastleigh by-election will pass me by, but I shall lose no sleep over that. The game continues, as it always does. The proles will elect another drone, as they always do. Expect more of the same. Forever.

    Possibly, possibly. An hour to go.

  • nisakiman February 28, 2013, 10:25 pm

    Don’t forget to post some holiday snaps, CR. (Yes, I know you’re not on holiday, but that’s just detail). I’d love to see a pic of your gizzard and chips.

    Ah, 30 degrees. What bliss. I’ve got a couple of months, maybe three before we get to those levels at night. Lucky bastard. Still, where I live, ashtrays are provided everywhere I go, so I’m up with you on that score.

  • nisakiman February 28, 2013, 10:32 pm

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Bloody hell, this must be my first comment in your new, squeaky clean, achingly hip Wordpress blogsite. I must be slowing down…

  • Sue Davies March 1, 2013, 1:34 am

    Only discovered your rants today, I for one will rant too… thanks for the platform.

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